The best story ever

I have the funniest brother in the world. I found in my documents that PJ had written and saved this story on my computer two summers ago. Enjoy:


The wind was on my side as I swept away from the fatty menace which is Nick
“GIVE ME YOUR SNACK PACK!!!” The beast cried out, running as fast as his piggy legs could go, trying not to trip over one of his multiple chins.

We were at school, and Nick was hungry; and when Nick is hungry, which he is almost all the time, he needs food. Fast. Nick’s mom owns a Dairy Queen. Figures. To give you a ballpark estimate, I’d say Nick is about 999,999,999,999 LBS… … …

… … … Per square inch.
As I sped away from what looked like a, wait , scratch that. As I sped away from what WAS a fat anti-social geek, I turned around, only to see the skyscraper a couple of miles away, drool dripping down his shirt and sweat under his flabby arms.

I had more than enough time sit back, relax, and indulge on my chocolate-vanilla swirl snack pack while I watched Nick run on his stuffed legs, making earthquakes each step, taking hours on end to get to me, the target.

For a gleaming, fatless moment, victory was at my fingertips. But what was this? Had the pig resorted to a secret weapon? He had started rolling! It is typical. I bet someone that round could just roll his way into the Olympics! That is, of course, if he could fit between the white lines on the track. Fatty.

The time had come. He had rolled over, crushed, and even engulfed people in his navel as he made his way toward me. And now he just within a few yards of me!!! Oh my gosh. This was it. I would soon be crushed under the tons of pure body fat known as Nick! The Boulder had seemingly finally reached his goal.


Then Nick had a sudden heart attack and died before reaching me


THE END.