Friday, January 28, 2011


So, I like, substitute teach now.
This was my first week.

Wed: Kindergarden. Kill me. Totally hated it. Both stressful and annoying.

Thursday: Sixth grade. Super awesome. Loved all of it. The best thing ever. And I totes miss pre-algebra. And I totes just love teaching.

But really, never will I ever teach kindergarden. I'm still pretty sure I like kids, but man did Wednesday make me question that.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

I should just wear a sign

Today at church I was asked by three different people about my racially ambiguous "ethnic-ness".

The "I'm going to guess till you tell me" approach: 
Dude: You look like you have some polynesian in you.
Me: Oh, hello. No.
Dude: Latin?
Me: Nope.
Dude: ...
Me: The usual explanation
Dude: That's so neat. You are very pretty.
Me: Thanks, my name's Emy.
Dude: I'm so-and-so.
I really don't know how these conversations ever start before regular introductions.

The "up front and direct", and only starting up the conversation in the first place to satisfy curiosity: 
Gal: Hi I'm so-and-so.
Me: Hello, I'm Emerald.
Gal: So, what ethnicity are you?
Me: The usual explanation
Gal: Wow, cool.
Me: Yup.
She didn't have anything more to say, so I left for class. I think she wanted me to ask about her ethnicity too, seeing how she was also ethnic in some way. But I really didn't care to stand there and talk about that. It really gets boring so fast.

The "round about, in the middle of a conversation already, not wanting to seem to interested but really is":
Guy: So Emy, where are you from?
Me: Southern California.
Guy: Oh ya? What part?...ya I've heard of you know the -family last name-.... ya it's a nice place
Me: Ya, I loved it.
Guy: So, where is your family from?
Me: My parents both grew up in Washington.
Guy: Oh ok, but like, where are they originally from?
Me: Oh, you mean like, what ethnicity?
Guy: Well, ya.
Me: usual explanation.
Guy: Oh, that's neat, blah blah blah...
Yes, I usually know from the start what they are trying to ask me, but really, where's the fun in letting them off easy.

Anyway, that's what happened today, and most days I meet new people. I really don't mind at all, and I'm really used to it. It's just funny how some people go about it.
But here is the best one.
A couple years ago I was waiting for my food at the Cougar Eat/cafeteria  at school. There was a guy standing next to me, also waiting.

Guy: Hey there.
Me: Hi
Guy: I like your colors.
Me: Oh my clothes? Thanks.
Guy: Oh, um, well, uh, ya, that too.


Saturday, January 22, 2011

On Pantaloons. Or, I read grammar books at night.

A guy in a tux at Oceanside Beach.
 I still worry if I was sneaky enough when I took this picture. 

                                                                 Pants, Trousers
Pants is a colloquial shortening of the old-fashioned word pantaloons, which is now used only in a humorous sense. The current and proper word for the lower part of a man's apparel is trousers. Pants, like movies, is a very popular word in current speech. It is modified to panties in speaking of a particular item of feminine lingerie.

From page 93 of How To Write and Speak Effective English  
By Edward Frank Allen
Published in 1938

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Brainstorm! (We are eating pepper and chips!)

"Words! Mere words! How terrible they were! How clear, and vivid, and cruel! One could not escape from them! And yet what a subtle magic there was in them! They seemed to be able to give a plastic form to formless things, and to have a music of their own as sweet as that of viol or of lute. Mere words! Was there anything so real as words?"
-Wilde, in Dorian Gray

Today I finished reading The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde.
Here are the things I have been thinking about in relation to this book. I am currently working on expanding on each of these, I promise. But, for now, I guess this is more of a brainstorm. Live wid it.

1) Beauty vs Goodness. Why is it that we have come to see them as the same thing? I've actually been thinking about this issue for a while, as Natty very well knows.

2) Lord Henry is one of the best examples of Satan I have ever read. I've got so many reasons, one obvious one being that he is excellent with flattery. And is an ass.

3) Sophisms are especially annoying when you clearly see the fallacy of their grounding assumptions.  They are extremely dangerous when you don't.

4) I find this to be a very moral book. It makes me both loath and fear sin itself. It is funny to me that anyone sees otherwise, but many are led to follow Lord Henry's words as Dorian does because they really are quite clever.

5) I have the same problem with the people who follow Dorian's example that I do with the people who identify and follow Holden Caulfield in Salinger's Catcher in the Rye. I really do believe that these people totally missed the boat in their reading of these characters. I don't care if that last sentence was closed minded of me- Everything is up for interpretation. But it's what I feel. You can't know what the author meant. It doesn't only mean one thing. Yours is just one opinion. Some scholars say otherwise. Blah blah blah. Watevs, if you look up to these characters as a model for how to act or see the world, you have issues, or are way dumb. These people are probably also the type to never understand sarcasm, or worse they think they do but don't. In my opinion.

My brainstormy list is getting a bit ranty so I'll stop for now. And I'm sure all these points are better worded in any workbook given to high school teachers on this novel anyway.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Yo self, get a life

Just so ya know:
Right Away Great Captain's new album "The Eventually Home" is fantastic.
I finally listened to it. It's weird that it took me so long considering how much I listened to, and love, their first album. Mr. Hull, you wonderful man you.

In personal news:
I picked up my graded senior paper from my Prof today. I am both grateful and encouraged by the feedback. Now it's rewriting time.

I also watched a whole ton of Bones,
which leads me to say that I totes love this man:
Agent Booth, mmmmhmmm ya.

Like I've said, I'm working on getting a life.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Rock your socks, both literary and musical

Happy January all.
Happy new Decemberists album.
It is lovely. And I love them.

Books I just bought:
Woman Hollering Creek by Sandra Cisneros
Paradise Lost by John Milton
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Let my reading party begin!

Monday, January 3, 2011


Did I finally go to see Harry Potter 7 tonight?
Did I love it?
Did I laugh a lot at Harry's dancing at this part?
Did I go with my two besties?
Did we each bring a wand?
Hell ya.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

It's a Partaaay

We gon' light it up
Like it's dynamite

I rang in 2011 with my great friends Andrea, Durban, and Dan. 

Drinking fun stuff while overdressed at Iggy's. 

So much sugar.

Being purple and posh.

You know we are the prettiest you will evah see.

Overexposed and dancing anyway, Dan is concerned.

We happen to be the coolest. 

Super awkward hand.

We gon' light it up, like it's dynamite

Dan and me being creepsters.

I'm in the club so I'm gonna do

More of us being besties and lookn fine.

Andrea always makes the party.

Get out the way, me and my crew came here to do.

Durban leading the pack.

So much dancing.

Blurry and awesome.

Best shot of the night. You wish you could party like us.

Attempt at party recovery.

So this is the New Year

I always have absurdly long lists for New Years. It's ok, I promise.

Get a job
GRE prep
Publish a critical essay in an academic journal
Publish a short story, any-freakin-where
Temple once a week
Gym five times a week
Do laundry before it becomes an emergency
Don't miss a day scripture reading
A book a week, at least, from my list (which I'll post soon I'm sure)
Save enough money to visit my family
Visit Erin, Steven, and baby Ivy Rae
Catch up on Gossip Girl, mhmm
Practice piano three times a week
Play more tennis
Successfully knit gloves and hats
Take better control of my dating life
Don't forget to take vitamins
Fix sleep patterns: be more like a person, less like a bat with a hangover
Be more active in my ward, yes socially
Stop saying, so often: totes, frills, whatevs, and bad curse words
Organize all my old school stuff
Get into Grad school

As I'm looking back at my list, I already know which ones are going to fall by the wayside. Whatevs.

This past year consisted of
A Winter semester that failed epically academically.
A Spring of hiking, reading, forts, long talks, and more laughing and fun than ever that built friendships that I am grateful for.
A Summer in Hawaii with my family, getting the best gift I've ever known: becoming friends with my siblings.
A Fall semester overloaded with library time, literary theory, and boys.

Outwardly, my only achievement of the entire year has been graduating. On paper, it seems like I could have done a lot more with a year of my life.

This last year has been one of a lot of internal change, more than I've ever had really. Most people on the outside will look on my year and find it to be fairly average. It certainly was not. I have never been more proud of myself than now with the changes I made within myself than this year. A lot that I did in the first half of the year seems so far away because I feel like such a different person from then. One of the biggest steps I took was to go to counseling, and I am very very grateful for that. It was a BFD for me, truly.

I let go of a lot of pain I have been carrying for many, too many, years.
I moved on from relationships that hurt me terribly.
I forgave more than I knew I could.
I learned how to be more open to the people that I love and who love me.
I am stronger through knowing that I don't need to fix everything.
I love more, and better.