Thursday, November 4, 2010

Evening News

Girl Pummeled By Chair in Library

While standing on a chair to reach the top half of the white board in room 5446 of the HBLL, Emerald Guildner, age 22, fell off and subsequently landed on another chair and bruised her upper thigh. Her fall was caused by extreme shock to her system when the library's closing announcement was introduced with a loud, obnoxious, and very scary bell tone. Authorities are looking into the petition to make this noise less dangerous and scary to library goers everywhere.
Sources say that Emerald's only comments were: "WELL ________ !"

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